Friday Nite Dynamite

by PEACHFUZZ

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1.
Some Motherfucker Some motherfucker hit my Buick Some motherfucker drove away Some motherfucker hit my Rendezvous two thousand six Some dumb motherfucker’s a dick Some motherfucker must a been drinking Some motherfucker want no DUI Some motherfucker wasn’t thinking Some motherfucker’s fixin’ to cry bye bye Some motherfucker really blew it I got a clear shot of her car and plates You were a dumb motherfucker and you knew it The moment you saw me fly over The Crow Bar gate Some motherfucker really blew it I got a clear shot of her car and plates You were a dumb motherfucker and you knew it The moment you saw me fly over The Crow Bar gate Some motherfucker I said some motherfucker I said some motherfucker hit my Some motherfucker hit my Buick Rendezvous
2.
You Have Nervous She said you You have nervous I told her I had seven cups of coffee Right before she saw me She still said you You have nervous It’s got nothing to do With all those shots of cold brew I think I really love you She sees almost every day at school Like Schneider I’m the super I got all the tools oh yeah She tries to put the blame all on me She’s too ashamed to admit that it’s she Who’s in love with me She said you She sees almost every day at school Like Schneider I’m the super I got all the tools oh yeah She tries to put the blame all on me She’s too ashamed to admit that it’s she Who’s in love with me She said you You have nervous You have nervous You have nervous You have nervous You have nervous You have nervous You have nervous You have nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous You have nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous Nervous
3.
Charlie’s Angels Jacyln Kate and Farah Fought the war on terrah Long before W. The bikini poster fad Gave birth to Cheryl Ladd Replacing Jill in season two When Mom and Dad would go to choir practice Baby sitter sat us on our asses One foot right in front of the TV screen Wednesday nights on ABC We were glued to the carpet Stuck like in a tarpit While the sitter made out with an older boy If we knew we didn’t care With The Angels on the air All our senses were filled with feathered joy When Mom and Dad would go to choir practice Baby sitter sat us on our asses One foot right in front of the TV screen Wednesday nights on ABC Then there was The Bionic Woman And Steve Austin The Six Million Dollar Man We only had three channels That was more than enough Prime-time line-up was from Heaven above When Mom and Dad would go to choir practice Baby sitter sat us on our asses One foot right in front of the TV screen Wednesday nights on ABC Wednesday nights on ABC Wednesday nights on ABC And God bless Brother John Ritter And Three’s Company And God bless Brother John Ritter And Three’s Company And God bless Brother John Ritter And Three’s Company And thank god for Suzanne Sommers and her Thighmaster machine
4.
All Ties Together I eat Saltines and soda Like Abe Vigoda A modern day Yoda With an analog eye I was born in Binghamton I like Foghat and Frampton Crunchin’ on Cap’n Triscuits and fries I sent out a postcard To a Mexican boat yard They said if I worked hard I could come on board We hit a bad weather cycle I prayed to Saint Michael To bless our survival And make it to shore Once more We smoked all the oars Sweet Hippie Heather It all ties together Thanks to Hair Science Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I looked at my mood ring Said I was a booze fiend Since two thousand sixteen I’ve stayed high and dry I was born in Binghamton Can’t remember was nappin’ But my fingers were snappin’ Toes were a tappin’ Oh my And my mother was high She said I’m not high Then she started to cry Thanks to Hair Science Hair Science Hair Science Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Sweet Hippie Heather It all ties together Sweet Hippie Heather It all ties together Sweet Hippie Heather It all ties together Thanks to Hair Science Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
5.
It's Ugly 02:35
6.
The Wrong Angels Nylon stretches better than leather In stormy weather alone together The preacher offers her food and shelter Warm holy water A farmer’s daughter She prays over and over She’ll forget this when she’s older As her dress slips off her shoulder Hides her fear holds her composure The story goes According to Mother A long lost brother Went undercover He shows up Twenty years later To advocate her Educate her He shows her all the pictures Of The Reverend Father Richards How he silenced all the sisters Buried secrets if they whispered You never had a chance You never had a chance You were born into the hands Of the wrong angels You’re not going to hell
 You fell to your knees Your hell’s his disease And he’ll do what he pleases Swear to Christ you won’t tell It’s what he learned as a boy Don’t make any noise Or I’ll cut out your voice You never had a chance You never had a chance You were born into the hands Of the wrong angels
7.
Bash and Pop Chips Bash and Pop Chips Barbecue hot lips Hands on your two hips Trampoline back flips   Go tell your sister How much you missed her Play a game of Twister Now you got a blister   On a giant horse, sword and shield Counting all the chickens in the Filaree fields One two three four five six seven All good coyotes go to heaven   Bash and Pop Fighting the forces of evil Sebastian Pop Malibu’s Evil Knievel   Bash and Pop Chips Sugar rush hop skip Don’t run, gonna slip Split your pants, skinny dip   I can’t wait to see you Mom and Poppa Murphy too Ben and Em and Bonnie Boo Ling Ling in the friggebod   Bash and Pop Don’t fall for her tricks or the money Sebastian Pop Beware the fluffy bunny Bibble and Honey Sebastian Pop Let’s see what you got Sebastian Pop Are you Over The Top Sebastian Pop Let’s see what you got Sebastian Pop Are you ready to rock?
8.
Anyhow, Anyway, Anymore The purple mountains were all peaking X-rated radiation leaking Into the streams of our sub conscience Into repeated dreams of nonsense You’re talking over me I’m walking through you You’re talking over me I’m walking through you You’re talking over me I’m walking through you Suddenly time implodes And nothing makes no cents Anyhow, anyway, anymore She swims with the whales upon her belly Stares at the penguin on the tele Sex and drugs is what we pay for Love and death is what we pray for You’re talking over me I’m walking through you You’re talking over me I’m walking through you You’re talking over me I’m walking through you Suddenly time implodes And nothing makes no cents Anyhow, anyway, anymore You’re talking over me I’m walking through you You’re talking over me I’m walking through you You’re talking over me I’m walking through you Suddenly time implodes And nothing makes no cents Anyhow, anyway, anymore Anyhow, anyway, anymore Anyhow, anyway, anymore Anyhow, anyway, anymore
9.
All the Way 03:59
10.
Tenth Grade 02:44
Tenth Grade Goin’ to school Lookin’ like that Van Halen II was my soundtrack ’73 164 Fuel Injected Swedish four door Hung with nerds stoners and hicks Impressed with my heavy metal licks Grew out my hair It started to curl Never really worked to get the girl And I knew way back I had to get away Feeling like I wasn’t quite like All those redneck assholes I wonder where they are today In a trailer park On your third wife Ten kids and another one Probably on the way God I don’t envy you now How did I ever survive And who turned out more fucked up after all

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released October 13, 2020

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PEACHFUZZ Austin, Texas

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